Like many teachers, I bring my lunch to work and put it in the faculty lounge refrigerator to keep it fresh. Now, a community fridge may be the last place to keep anything fresh. One day I went with the usual fear and trepidation to retrieve my lunch. I opened the fridge. My senses swooned. My sensibilities violated. "That's it," I thought. "We need some rules around here." I posted the following on the faculty bulletin board.
• Remember to check your food every few months and consider donating it to science, or dumping it.
• If it's yours, you are responsible for it leaking, oozing, smelling, growing or moving. Please adopt it, or dump it.
• If it's yours and it colonizes, fuzzily, all the other foods in the fridge, please revoke its diplomatic status, and dump it.
• Finally, if a year or more should pass and your food should become a new species or gain self-awareness and cry "Zul" when you open the fridge, please call the Ghost Busters, or, here's a thought, dump it!