Writing is an Itch. This is a place to scratch.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Nearer My God To Thee


Rattus: Ugh! My knee is acting up again. I can hardly climb the steps to our cottage. My back's a misery too. On top of that, I think I need stronger spectacles. I'm getting old, dear friend.

Tea Rat: My old da, Teadore Rat, used to say, "You know you're getting old when you used to dream about being able to fly, and now you dream about being able to walk." You know what else he used to say?

Rattus: I can't wait.

Tea Rat: You know you're getting old when your bark is worse than your bite because you have no teeth.

Rattus: Very funny.

Tea Rat: I'm joking. You're not getting old. You're getting ripe.

Rattus: That's disgusting. 

Tea Rat: What I mean is, you're maturing...like a venerable old wine.

Rattus: Stop talking.

Tea Rat: I thought you were a religious fellow. Remember the hymn, "Redeemed, redeemed, His child and forever I am."

Rattus: Right now the only hymn that comes to mind is "Nearer My God to Thee." No doubt about it, my friend, I'm headed for the long goodnight, the big sleep, the light in the tunnel, the fertilizer factory, toe-tag town, I've got one foot in the grave, I bought the farm, I'm circling the drain, pushing up daisies, checking out...

Tea Rat: ...Alright, alright. I'll take out the garbage.


Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Tea Rat: There. I have taken out the trash. ANYTHING ELSE WHILE YOU'RE ON A ROLL OLD MAN?

Rattus: Sit and have a cuppy with me...

Tea Rat: Any day of the week, any hour of the day, any time, any where...I will make you a pot, for in the world of TEA, I AM A GO....

Rattus: Oh shut it...

Angelsdoor * Penny said...

Haaaahaaaahaaaaa!!! You are killin me here.. I can't stand it. What a hoot you two are...
So happy you like my saxophone Rattus.. Thank you for coming over to see me. Mum say hello and thank you!!!

myletterstoemily said...

what a darling pair you have written
and enchanted us with! hope it's not
really your knee or back.

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

I SEE THE DRAGON FLY!!! You grab the tail, I will navigate....let's GOOOOOOOOO!!!

The Dutchess said...

Older and wiser dear Rattus my friend..older and wiser..wiser and wittier..Loved this...

Bonnie said...

The big dirt nap indeed! Come over for a cuppa and we shall have a few nibbles as well. Take care old bean.


George the Lad said...

lol!! I shouldn't be laughing but this is dad to a tea!!!, what I mean is he's not been to well, I have just read it out to him and he thought it was very funny, Rattus always look on the bright side, your'll feel better for it ;)
I better put out the rubblish!!!
"Oh whats that dad" another cup of tea!!!
Have a good week
See Yea George xxx
Dad just said the light at the end of the tunnel is a train coming the other way!!!!

Nezzy said...

I couldn't find an email so I'm gonna answer your where in the world is Nezzy question here.

Thanks so much for your concern. I've just been snowed under and decided the blog could snore for awhile while I survived summer on the Ponderosa. Load of stuff happin' 'round this place.
First I tried to do everything that I was too sick to do last summer. Ya know things like refinishing the deck furniture, paintin' the red rocker and power washin' the deck. Oodles of stuff in the yard to do that I soooo neglected last year. My dear MIL's Alzheimer's has progressed so rapidly it's taken it's toll on all of us. My son experienced a Bell's Palsy episode several weeks ago. One grandson had fourteen stitches in his foot. My DIL cut the end off a finger one week and had stitches in the other hand the next. Little Sara was in ER last Saturday with breathin' issues and little Ian was checked out by a general surgeon yesterday for an abdominal hernia....which he didn't have...WOOHOO....God is good!!! We had our big old Fourth of July bash on the second. Whew, I'm pooped just talkin' about my life! Heeehehehehee!!!!

We had some major flooding here on the Ponderosa this spring and had to replant some of the crops but the corn is stantin' high and the sorghum is growin' like crazy.
I just had to let something go as a survival rope and the blog just happened to be that. I haven't even checked my email daily and I have to say it's been kinda freeing. I might even make it a yearly blogcation.

God bless ya and have a marvelous day!

I haven't quit bloggin' I shall return! :o)

Victoria Sayer said...

Heeheehee...I had never heard the term 'Toe-Tag Town'. Very funny.

(Just been reading Nezzy's comments. Crikey!...and I thought that I had a pretty full on life! I do like her idea of a Blogcation each year. Really is kinda freeing.)
Ruben, I love your funny little rats. Thanks for sharing them with us in the Land of Blog (\_/)


Victoria Sayer said...

Hmmm...let's try that again...

Denise said...

You two are so romantic!so are Paul and I.I mostly show my love with words and oxox,He shows His with sweet devoted deeds.Keep it up.Denise

Jacqueline said...

Oh my God to Thee, I can't stop laughing...I gotta go pee...what a hoot this is..hilarious!!!

Edie Marie's Attic said...

This had me in stitches Ruben!! ROFL It's all TRUE, absolutely true. And of course the only way to muddle through this time in life is to find humor in all of it. Thanks for such a great laugh today!!

Hugs, Sherry

Jg. for FatScribe said...

good gawd do i feel like that rat at times, ruben. more and more ... especially as i witness the growth and maturation of my two boys. love the ratness, er, rightness of it all (seeing them grow in stature, height and in their walk with their God).