Rattus Scribus blog©
31 December 2011
Rattus Scribus, Moderator: Candidate Big Pig, in the spirit of New Years can you tell us what resolutions you will make to the people?
Big Pig: That's an excellent question, Rattus. You know, I was born in a humble fifteen bedroom manor in the Hamptons without so much as an indoor swimming pool, so believe you me, I grew up knowing the value of a dollar.
Rattus: But you didn't answer the question.
Big Pig: Well let me put it as straight as I can, so that I'm not misquoted by my opponents later. You, me, everyone here, and everyone within the sound of my voice. I mean we're talking everyone. That's about as plain as I can say it.
Rattus: What in the name of Tartarus are you talking about? OK, forget about New Year's resolutions. Can you give us just one good reason why we should vote for you?
Big Pig: Look, everything that's wrong today is because of that other party, which must not be named. I mean, where is the rain when you need it? And who was responsible for leaving out the cream in my coffee? I didn't flip-flop all over the place on that one. I think the people know what's really going on.
Rattus: Sweet Saint Rodentia!
Big Pig: I know! Right?
Rattus: Tea Rat, can you PLEASE tell us why you are running for office?
Tea Rat: Me? Oh, I'm not running for office. I heard something about a "Tea Party". I'm here for the Tea Party. But so far I don't see any tea.
Happy New Year
From Rattus & Tea