Happy Goosegiving

 Ruben Rivera©

Rattus: Hoy, Tea Rat. What's that you're hiding behind you?

Tea Rat: Hiding? Me? I'm not hiding anyth...

Rattus: Is that a turkey? Why are you hiding a turkey behind your back?

Tea Rat: It's not a turkey. He's uh, Mr. G-Gobble. Y-Yeah, that's it. Mr. Gobble from way out in Left Field, come to visit us here in Nowhere for Thanksgiving. He's a second cousin twice removed on my father's side.

Rattus: You're a rat. He's a turkey. That's not quite right...

Tea Rat: Well, you know my old da. Quite the ladies rat.

Rattus: It's not a question of your da's tastes. How can I put this? "Turkey and rat cannot begat." What's really going on here?

Tea Rat: Oh, alright. I met ol' Goose here...

Rattus: A turkey named Goose?

Tea Rat: Yeah. You see, I met ol' Goose here in a store window. He looked so friendly that I went in to say hello. Then that's when he told me.

Rattus: Told you what?

Tea Rat: That he was going to be someone's dinner. That he was going to the feather factory, the last round up, toe-tag-town...

Rattus: Toe-tag-town?

Tea Rat: You know, that his goose was cooked.

Rattus: Ah, hence the name Goose.

Tea Rat: No. that just happens to be his real name.

Rattus: Go on. Did you ask the store owner to set him free?

Tea Rat: Not really, no.

Rattus: Then you paid for him and brought him home?

Tea Rat: Not exactly.

Rattus: Oh, sweet Saint Rodentia. Don't tell me...

Tea Rat: I couldn't just stand by and watch Goose get gobbled. So naturally I grabbed him and ran. Rattus, uh, one more thing...

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.

Rattus: Let me guess?

NPD: This is the Nowhere Police Department. We're going around the area looking for a fugitive turkey and his rat accomplice. Is there a turkey in there?

Rattus: No, sir. We only have a goose.