Writing is an Itch. This is a place to scratch.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

He Was A Good Rat.

Ruben Rivera's Rattus Scribus Blog©

Rattus: Tea Rat, what are you doing?

Tea Rat: I'm writing my obituary. I was reading the newspaper obituaries and they're not very exciting. No plot. No foreshadowing. No hero's quest. No rising action, climax, or falling action, no conflict or resolution. When I die, I want to make sure the newspapers get my obituary right.

Rattus: You just mentioned parts of fictional literature. An obituary is a simple public notice of someone's death with a few factual highlights of their life.

Tea Rat: It doesn't have to be boring does it? It's not enough that I'll be dead, the summation of my life has to be dead too? We want meaning, drama, characters that a reader cares about, irony, literary panache. The reader should be in tears when they're done, emotionally spent, unable to take any more.

Reepicheep, Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawntreader

Rattus: Alright. Let's hear the obituary you have created for yourself.

Tea Rat: "He was a good rat."

Rattus: That's it?

Tea Rat: What do you think? Why, Rattus, you're crying.

Rattus: I'm emotionally spent. 

Tea Rat: Well, whaddaya know. It worked.

"Blessed are the cheese-makers."
Rattus: Please stop. I can't take any more. 


Angelsdoor * Penny said...

TEA RAT.. Your obituary!!!! Oh NO, no... You need to stick around for a long time.. Must not even think of it... But as obituaries go, it is a good one.. Short and sweet... After all, goodness in a human or rat is what counts..

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

TEA RAT HERE....this is spectacular isn't it Rattus, what I have created! My life and DEATH will go down in the annals of time, history, blogland, Nowhere....and YOU will be the one to do it. BRAVO.

Ruben Rivera said...

Rattus: Well as long as we are going to spin tall tales about our life, I think I'm going to claim that I invented the internet.

Tea Rat: What are you talking about. I invented the internet.

Rattus: You don't even know what the internet is.

Tea Rat: Yes I do. It's a net I invented to catch things inside the house or enclosed area. Hence "inside-net" or internet.

Rattus: You're cracked, old rat. "Inter" comes from the Latin "in" and "terra" meaning "in the earth or ground." Hence the INTERNET, which I invented, is a device for gathering dirt or earth.

Tea Rat: Oh I invented something for that too. It's called a shovel.

Victoria Sayer said...

ya gotta love a cute little mouse who is so abundantly extremely clever.
(Love that swash buckling shot!)
May Tea Rat and Rattus BOTH continue to live on for many years to come, and further delight us with their quirky humour.